An update - and an introduction to my new sex life

 

It's been a long time since my last post and a lot has changed since then.  

• First-off, I've started a new clips4sale page to archive all of our videos, they can all be found here. 

We've relocated to FL and unfortunately lost contact with Lisa's steady bull.  Since the move, Lisa has not had much interest in sex. She says she was so satisfied by her bull/boyfriend back north, that she feels she will never have it that good again. They had been seeing each other for 8+ years, so moving has left my wife with no one to satisfy her.

Around 5 years ago a package was delivered to our house, it was addressed to Lisa. She told me she had a surprise for me and opened the package.  Lisa had bought a strap-on, and she said she had some plans  for me, and she wanted to try something new. Soon after that, there was an evening where she would introduce me to my new sex-life.  In retrospect, this was prelude to a new normal that was about to emerge. 

I was able to video this indoctrination and the sessions that would follow, please send an email to me at swf34120@gmail.com if you would like a direct link to this video and the sessions that followed. 

Before we left the north-east, my wife Lisa had been seeing her bull fairly regularly. For the last 2-3 years, Lisa and her bull had mostly insisted on meeting alone - which is why there were no videos of the 2 of them in recent years. They decided sex was better without my presence, so I was suddenly left out and there was nothing I could do about it. 

Every few weeks, Lisa would get the urge and tell me to 'make a date' for her. I would text her bull, coordinate a date and time for them and reserve the hotel room.  Most of these dates were over-nighters, where and I would drop her off at the hotel and she would be dropped off at home in the morning by her bull.  At first it was very hard to be home wondering what they were doing in that room, but after the first few times, I accepted it and it became less stressful for me. 

I will post more as time permits, meanwhile you can email me or chat with me on google hangouts with this address: swf34120@gmail.com.  

I can also be reached on Skype with cuckedsubhub@gmail.com

Understanding and accepting Creampies

If you are reading this blog then chances are you know what a "Creampie" is. As a cuckolded husband, I've experienced and witnessed this sex act many times with my wife and several different men she's been with. To say I have mixed emotions on this would be a ridiculous understatement. For me, it's both terrifying and wildly erotic at the same time. My hope is that writing this will help me (and perhaps you) understand why I have these mixed feelings.

If you've seen our videos, you know that when Lisa is with another man, she often enjoys them bareback. This is a matter of both her preference and sometimes the spontaneity of the meeting. Her sole focus is on having sex and the condom is often a discarded fleeting thought. Plus, after having a few drinks, her sex drive is in overdrive, and many of her inhibitions and fears are gone.

When she was of child bearing age there was always the fear of pregnancy after her trysts. Most of the bulls pulled out, but a few did not. This act is one that certain bulls thrive on. Some of them  would chat with me afterwards and brag that they bred her. Luckily there were no miss-haps even though there were a few nervous moment over the years. Lisa is now 52,  and thankfully we no longer need to be concerned about pregnancy  - especially since she is so active with her steady BBC partner.

The first bull to cum inside her was actually the second man she ever played with. Lisa really liked him and seem to give herself completely to him. I watched helplessly as he inseminated her the first time. I had no idea he was going to do this, he gave no warning as he neared climax,  there was no time to ask him to stop and pull out.

He fucked her for about 40 minutes and then suddenly he stopped and pulled out and rolled over. He was done. That was it. He emptied his balls in my wife, he had filled her with his sperm and there was no way to undo that now. I saw his sperm coating  his big cock as he laid back on the bed, he then thanked me and told me how great it was. Lisa just laid there and then asked me to get her a drink. I was stunned and reeling from what I just saw.

In full disclosure,  I must admit that even now, when I see a man enter my wife bareback, my stomach still begins to twist into a knot. A few years ago, while we were on vacation,  she met a bartender at the hotel we were staying at. He was black and no more than 20 years old and Lisa told me wanted him. They became friendly when I went to spend an afternoon on the golf course.

The next night, she invited him to our room after he got off from work. She told me he was nervous and wanted to be alone with her, so she told me I needed to wait on the balcony.  Then took she him into the bedroom, where he fucked her as I waited. I heard him slap her ass, I heard their bodies slamming together, I heard Lisa moaning and screaming with pleasure and within 20 minutes he was gone.  Lisa stepped out onto the balcony to tell me what happened. She told me he fucked her so well and she came so hard, but she wanted more. He told her he needed to leave to pick up his friend and that also told me he did not cum. She was still aroused and not completely satisfied, so she invited me into the bedroom and pushed my head between her thighs. As I licked her, I realized that there was no doubt - he had silently cum inside her and then left.

After her bull cums in her they often leave shortly afterwards. After all, they've got what they wanted and they're ready to move on. As I lay next to her in our bed, my mind races. Lisa is usually exhausted, but I'm wide awake thinking about what just happened. I think about his sperm swimming inside her, making their way deep inside her.

Sometimes she or the bull will tell me to lick it. Eating another man's sperm from your wife is hard to come to grips with. Lowering my head to lick his seed is how they bull makes me accept that I've been cucked by him. The taste of semen is unmistakable. It is slippery and it is thick and sticky when it is freshly deposited. It becomes thin and runs out easily after only a few minutes. It's salty and pungent in taste, sometimes it is sweeter but it always leaves a taste in my mouth that takes a long time to forget. It usually tingles when I taste it. It makes me think that maybe the tingling is the sperm swimming around in my mouth causing this sensation, but I'm pretty sure that's probably not the cause.

I know sperm can swim for days trying to fertilize the eggs inside my wife. For days afterwards I imagine just that...this mans' sperm are swimming inside her as she makes dinner for our family.  And so sometimes I try to lick it all out so that after he leaves I can feel better that the sperm is all gone and it's no longer inside her.

Showing me what he left behind

The bull undoubtedly thinks that by inseminating my wife, he has totally humiliated me, and that I am  pathetic cuckold who can't satisfy his wife's sexual needs.

He would be right. 

Thoughts and ramblings on how we got here

I've seen Lisa with many men over the years, but her current bull has been the most frequent and favored of them all. She's been seeing him on and off for 6 or 7 years now and there is no indication that things will change. They both get what they want and need sexually plus they like each other a lot. While Lisa was curious about cuckolding when she first started meeting men so many years ago, he brought out and developed her intense interest in it gradually over the years.

My wife having a steady, regular sex partner is actually comforting to me. Before he became her regular partner, it was so stressful for me whenever we would meet someone new or even when she would go out. She sometimes would tell me to find someone for her, or sometimes she would go out and ended up meeting someone herself.  I never knew how any of that was going to turn out, now at least I know and trust her bull.

But he has turned her into more than just a hot-wife. He encourages her to cuckold me and uses that to solidify his place as her sex partner. While we love each other very much, She's now convinced that only he can satisfy her sexual needs and that I'm sexually inferior. He did this slowly and subtly at first and then she just latched on to it. She began enjoying cuckolding me as much as the sex, and now it's a big part her sexual satisfaction.

He started changing her thoughts about me the first time we met him.  We met for drinks and he was very nice to me. But when we got to the room, he would only refer to me as 'Cuck'. Lisa giggled at first, but she clearly was taken by his dominating attitude towards me. After a few dates, she wanted to spend the night with him alone at the hotel, and so asked me to leave and return in the morning.

I'll never forget my angst and nervousness that night.  When morning came I texted her and she told me I can come to pick her up in an hour or so.  When I arrived in the room, he had just left. I could tell from the look on her face, the wet spots on the bed and the still sticky sperm he left on her that  he had satisfied her, and visa versa.  I sat on the bed and she thanked me for not being mad for being left out. Then she told me he said next time, he was going to make me suck his cock.  There was an awkward moment of silence, and then she said something that I will never forget... She laughed and added "and you're gonna do it".  

Sure enough, the next time (and every time) after he would make me do it. The first time he came to our house, Lisa was upstairs getting ready when he arrived. We had a drink and talked a little in the kitchen while we waited for her to come down. Then he asked me if I had a pillow, which I thought was odd, but I went and grabbed one from the closet. He told me to put it down on the kitchen floor. Then he told me to kneel on it. This wasn't a request, and I felt I had to comply with his demand. I kneeled, he unbuckled his pants, and said, "Open your mouth cuck!"

I saw His BBC just inches from my face, he said "Look at it... and now suck it!". I just stared at it in shock, then he grabbed me by the back of my head and said "suck it", as he shoved it into my mouth. As I sucked, he was telling me what a fine woman I have and that I'm lucky to have a wife like her. He said he drank a lot of pineapple juice, so that his cum will taste sweet when I eat it later.  He said he was going to fuck her good, and that he was probably going to cum in her tonight and that I'll be cleaning it up. He told me to look up at him as I suck, I hesitated and he pulled my hair back and shouted "look at me!". I looked up and saw him looking down at me, he told me, "Lick my black balls" as he lifted his BBC to expose them. He said, "I want you to get them both in your mouth and then look up at me".  

As I'm doing this, I hear Lisa start coming down stairs and I started to get up so she would not see what was happening. He put his hand on top of my head and said, "Stay on it bitchboy, let your wife see you doing your job". I was mortified as Lisa entered the room, I wanted to just disappear, if only I could.  She looked at me and just said, 'Hmmmm', then she went over to him and gave him a long deep kiss hello, paying no attention to what she clearly saw happening.  As they kissed, I heard him tell her, "You see, I told you he would be sucking my dick...he's a good cuck" A few moments later she patted me on my head and said with a laugh, "You did good, we're going upstairs now".

They did go upstairs, and he did fuck my wife while I watched. He came inside her and I did clean up his sperm (the pineapple worked, so it wasn't too bad for me). I know now that the reason he did all this was to show my wife that I would submit to him, that he is the dominant male, that HE should be her sex partner, and ultimately, that I am her cuckold husband - not her sex partner. This would be a great erotic story if it wasn't all true, these are things burned into my memory, things that a cuckold husband will never forget.

After all these years

You would think I would be used to this cuckold thing by now. I guess in a way I am, but at the same time my stomach is always in knots when I know she's meeting someone - especially if it's someone new. The 'not knowing' what is going to happen aspect always causes me anxiety in the days and hours leading up to a date.

Of course, I really know what is going to happen when she meets a guy. The bottom line is, my wife is most likely going to let another man fuck her. I know it, she knows it, and usually the guy is pretty sure as well.  I suppose the desire for sexual satisfaction has many nuances, but I do still struggle to accept that Lisa gets her satisfaction from other men.

If you have followed our journey through the years, you probably know Lisa has had a steady regular sex partner for the last 2 or 3 years. Since she's been with him, I don't often worry anymore about who she is with or if she's safe. Her bull likes her a lot and visa versa and he would never do anything to her detriment. She met him when he was 28 and Lisa was 50, He's still only 31 years old now, he's a tall athletic black man with a very large cock and he absolutely loves fucking my wife.  The two of them get the sexual satisfaction they both need and want and are otherwise not getting.

They get together alone a lot now. I'm not able to see what happens very much anymore. As hard as it was to watch it, it is sometimes harder to not watch - to not know. On the rare occasions when I'm allowed to watch, I'm not allowed to video anymore. He's very dominant with me, and he has decided this is how it will be. As you may have seen is some of our videos, He usually refers to me as 'cuck', as a means of showing Lisa he is superior. Lisa goes along with whatever he says, so there is really no way for me to change that aspect anymore until He changes his mind.

 For most husbands, if a guy looks or touches their wife, they become suspicious and will intervene.
But I'm a cuckold husband and it's different for me. Cuckolds are conditioned to expect that men will look at and touch what's theirs. Over the years, Lisa has gradually conditioned me to accept allowing other guys to be with her sexually.  I know, deep down.  the reason for my 'conditioning' is that I was not able to step up to the plate. Unable to please her sexually, I gradually allowed myself to become a cuckold by not putting a stop to Lisa's many extra-marital conquests.

I wasn't able to put a stop to it because deep down I knew the truth. There was no question - I did not have the size and stamina that Lisa needs. I have only four weak inches to offer her and it is not nearly enough.  But to her credit, she gently let me know it and She also came up with a solution - she would get the sex from men who had what she needed, and I would be there to ensure her safety, and able to watch.
By not stopping it right there, I became compliant and weak -  to both Lisa and to the men she meets.

This is the slippery slope of cuckolding, for me at least.  My acceptance of the bulls dominance over me has emboldened the bulls and Lisa. Many bulls feed off of my compliance and weakness and use it to gain the upper hand with my wife. They see it as their opening to show my wife that she should look to them for sex and not to me -  her husband. This makes them even more naturally dominant with me. Lisa's current bull does this in several ways, first, he never calls me by my name. From the first night we met him for drinks at the hotel bar, he has only called me 'CUCK'.  Lisa has never once defended me in this regard or asked him to call me by my name. Then again, although she often refers to me as a cuckold, she herself has never called me 'cuck' (which seems so much more demeaning to me) - so I guess I should be happy about that.

When I watch them, I am in a chastity lock, the key is usually worn by her around her ankle bracelet.
As she gets fucked, I see and hear the key and the locket dangling there, both are there to remind me that I'm being cuckolded.

Last year I started to put all the pieces of my cuckolding together into a video story that would make sense to me. Basically, it's an explanation to myself on how I became a cuckold husband. So far I've posted 10 chapters of this video 'book' and the most recent 'Chapter' is a good example of how the verbal and physical queues of Lisa's current bull change how she sees me. One must remember this is only their second 'date' but in looking back, it's so obvious to me now what he was and still is doing. By calling me 'cuck', ordering me to apply lube, or 'Put it in', he was able to change her perception of me from her 'husband' to the 'cuck'.

Here is the link to my video book where you can see how I became 'Cuck'

Realizations and rationalization

After almost 25 years of living this unusual marital arrangement, I realize the affect it has had on both of us. Our marriage is very solid despite the sexual tension that I guess comes naturally within our cuckold relationship.  Sex and intimacy are important to any marriage, and so it would seem that cuckolding might hinder that. Because I'm a cuckold husband, there is little or no sex for me with my wife.  But we both understand why that is.

Lisa is a mature woman who has a strong sex drive. As she has gotten older, her desires have increased and she knows that I can't stop her from acting on them. She knows I've accepted all this -  her desires, unfulfilled needs - some days that's a lot harder for me than it probably seems to you all.

I know I can stimulate her to orgasm with my tongue, but I know that I've never been able to bring her to climax through intercourse. This is a very difficult fact for a husband to realize and accept, but that is the truth. I've seen her climax with men who are unbelievably huge, and even men that are just adequately endowed -  so knowing I can't possibly compete is somewhat disheartening. But she loves me, not them, we have a great family and a great life despite the sexual realities. After all, sex is just one aspect of a relationship.

Even at 54 years of age, I know Lisa is very desirable. I see it when we go out, guys look at her with lust. Her shape still invokes primal desires - she has big full breasts, a small waist and wide but proportional hips. An hourglass shape.  It's a figure that make men naturally think of sex.

A Soccer mom by day

Approached by a guy 20 minutes after I took this picture 

He fucked her later that night.

Her willingness to indulge in it, reinforces this is a very real way for me. In other words, I know she is sexy, she knows she is sexy and other men know she is sexually desirable - but she chooses to have sex with men who satisfy her, rather than me - her husband, the cuckold. That sums it all up.

Watching her with the other men allowed me to imagine what it would be like to please her the way they do. I fantasize about being them as I watched them fucking my wife, living vicariously through these men. As I watch, I remember what it felt like to be inside her. The warmth and wetness of her pussy, the thrusts of her hips as they rise to accept the thrusts as deep as possible.

Her current bull has told me that he feels her cum, when he hits 'bottom'. I had never heard this term, so I asked him what he meant and he told me 'hitting bottom' means his cock was rubbing up against her cervix. So his black cock could actually reach and press against my wife's womb.  And He knew that he had made her orgasm that way and he wanted me to know. He is 10+ inches of 30 year-old rock hard BBC - I then I knew why she wants him and not me.

Met him online

Ultimately sex is about satisfying a need or a desire. I know, that Every man that Lisa has been with, whether alone or while I watched, was satisfied by her pussy. And every man who fucked her, made her climax with their cock. Except for me.

Filled 

Witnessing other men ejaculating in my wife is something that has always caused me a great amount of anxiety and I know need to write more about soon.  I will talk more about the moment of climax in my next post.

She knows what boys want

Use this link to see all of our cuckolding videos:

Diary Of a Real HotWife

Cuckold - unprepared for the unexpected

It's been a while since my last post so if this is somewhat out of context please understand.

If you have followed this blog you know that my wife Lisa has gradually become more assertive about her desires.  She's been with many men and at this point harbors no reservations about getting what she wants and letting her passions run freely. Meanwhile I've become accustomed to all this, from just watching, waiting for her to come home, being chastised, prepping, the cleanup and humiliation of knowing that I am a cuckold husband.

I've learned over the years that the men she meets can really fall into 3 categories:

1. Men who just want sex - These guys are normal red blooded males who are simply attracted to her and want to fuck her. They prefer that I'm nowhere in sight, but they put up with my presence to get the chance to fuck Lisa.
2. Men who like fucking other men's wives - These men are turned on by Lisa but they also like the idea of fucking my wife and having me see it and know it. They have often been verbally disrespectful to me, but I know this is part of what they want out of the experience. Fucking my wife makes them superior, they are the 'alpha male', top dog and they want me to know it.
3. True Bulls - These men have a high sex drive and large cocks, they not only want to fuck my wife, they usually also want to inseminate her - and they want me to see them do it. They want my wife to view me as a cuckold and as submissive to them.  They want her to witness and be a part of how they dominate me, so that she will reject me and accept them as her bull. I realize that over the years, this has become increasingly easy for true bulls, because I 'm now conditioned to accept their superiority. They get off by Cuckolding me, just as much as they get off by fucking Lisa.

Lisa has a definite preference for True Bulls. The more dominant they are towards me, the more excited she seems to get. Experienced bulls instinctively know this, and I guess it makes sense, because she sees them as being my replacement in the bedroom.  They are bigger, stronger, younger and better sexual partners than I am. They've taken my place and I guess I've allowed it. As the cuckolding progressed, and she met more men, I didn't realize that she would I would never regain my place as someone she wanted to have sex with.

A few years ago, at the urging of her bulls, Lisa and took cuckolding to the next level.  I knew I was in trouble when her bull forced his cock down my throat when Lisa was in the ladies room. I mean, we just met him an hour earlier and as soon as she stepped out of the room, he unzipped his pants,  grabbed my by the back of my head, slapped my face with it and then shoved it in my mouth. Then, after he fucked her, he did this again, but this time while she watched.

  The bull

Lisa pushing 

Feeding it 

The guy was HUGE and I guess the combination of his size and domination turned my wife on so much that Lisa got on top of me and started forcing my head down on him.
It was the most humiliating experience I have ever had, but I felt I had to do what they wanted and I felt completely powerless to stop it.

Weeks later as I thought about what happened that night I realized it had nothing to do with bi or gay sex, it was strictly domination and submission. I submitted completely to him (and then to both of them) and I saw how this turned my wife on. The bull clearly reveled in how he turned my wife on, how he controlled me - and by controlling me, he actually gained sexual control of my wife.


If you are interested in my posts, and would like me to continue posting, please write a comment, email me, or reach me on skype with this address:
fun4us2@optonline.net

I've chronicled many of our cuckolding experiences in video. I've created a page for those who want to learn more about our personal journey into the unusual world of cuckolding. 

Use this link to see all of our cuckolding videos:
Diary Of a Real HotWife

The moment I became a cuckold husband

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