Pages

Saturday, March 31, 2018

After all these years

You would think I would be used to this cuckold thing by now. I guess in a way I am, but at the same time my stomach is always in knots when I know she's meeting someone - especially if it's someone new. The 'not knowing' what is going to happen aspect always causes me anxiety in the days and hours leading up to a date.

Of course, I really know what is going to happen when she meets a guy. The bottom line is, my wife is most likely going to let another man fuck her. I know it, she knows it, and usually the guy is pretty sure as well.  I suppose the desire for sexual satisfaction has many nuances, but I do still struggle to accept that Lisa gets her satisfaction from other men.


If you have followed our journey through the years, you probably know Lisa has had a steady regular sex partner for the last 2 or 3 years. Since she's been with him, I don't often worry anymore about who she is with or if she's safe. Her bull likes her a lot and visa versa and he would never do anything to her detriment. She met him when he was 28 and Lisa was 50, He's still only 31 years old now, he's a tall athletic black man with a very large cock and he absolutely loves fucking my wife.  The two of them get the sexual satisfaction they both need and want and are otherwise not getting.

They get together alone a lot now. I'm not able to see what happens very much anymore. As hard as it was to watch it, it is sometimes harder to not watch - to not know. On the rare occasions when I'm allowed to watch, I'm not allowed to video anymore. He's very dominant with me, and he has decided this is how it will be. As you may have seen is some of our videos, He usually refers to me as 'cuck', as a means of showing Lisa he is superior. Lisa goes along with whatever he says, so there is really no way for me to change that aspect anymore until He changes his mind.

 For most husbands, if a guy looks or touches their wife, they become suspicious and will intervene.
But I'm a cuckold husband and it's different for me. Cuckolds are conditioned to expect that men will look at and touch what's theirs. Over the years, Lisa has gradually conditioned me to accept allowing other guys to be with her sexually.  I know, deep down.  the reason for my 'conditioning' is that I was not able to step up to the plate. Unable to please her sexually, I gradually allowed myself to become a cuckold by not putting a stop to Lisa's many extra-marital conquests.





I wasn't able to put a stop to it because deep down I knew the truth. There was no question - I did not have the size and stamina that Lisa needs. I have only four weak inches to offer her and it is not nearly enough.  But to her credit, she gently let me know it and She also came up with a solution - she would get the sex from men who had what she needed, and I would be there to ensure her safety, and able to watch.
By not stopping it right there, I became compliant and weak -  to both Lisa and to the men she meets.











This is the slippery slope of cuckolding, for me at least.  My acceptance of the bulls dominance over me has emboldened the bulls and Lisa. Many bulls feed off of my compliance and weakness and use it to gain the upper hand with my wife. They see it as their opening to show my wife that she should look to them for sex and not to me -  her husband. This makes them even more naturally dominant with me. Lisa's current bull does this in several ways, first, he never calls me by my name. From the first night we met him for drinks at the hotel bar, he has only called me 'CUCK'.  Lisa has never once defended me in this regard or asked him to call me by my name. Then again, although she often refers to me as a cuckold, she herself has never called me 'cuck' (which seems so much more demeaning to me) - so I guess I should be happy about that.






When I watch them, I am in a chastity lock, the key is usually worn by her around her ankle bracelet.
As she gets fucked, I see and hear the key and the locket dangling there, both are there to remind me that I'm being cuckolded.

Last year I started to put all the pieces of my cuckolding together into a video story that would make sense to me. Basically, it's an explanation to myself on how I became a cuckold husband. So far I've posted 10 chapters of this video 'book' and the most recent 'Chapter' is a good example of how the verbal and physical queues of Lisa's current bull change how she sees me. One must remember this is only their second 'date' but in looking back, it's so obvious to me now what he was and still is doing. By calling me 'cuck', ordering me to apply lube, or 'Put it in', he was able to change her perception of me from her 'husband' to the 'cuck'.

Here is the link to my video book where you can see how I became 'Cuck'



Monday, March 5, 2018

Realizations and rationalization

After almost 25 years of living this unusual marital arrangement, I realize the affect it has had on both of us. Our marriage is very solid despite the sexual tension that I guess comes naturally within our cuckold relationship.  Sex and intimacy are important to any marriage, and so it would seem that cuckolding might hinder that. Because I'm a cuckold husband, there is little or no sex for me with my wife.  But we both understand why that is.

Lisa is a mature woman who has a strong sex drive. As she has gotten older, her desires have increased and she knows that I can't stop her from acting on them. She knows I've accepted all this -  her desires, unfulfilled needs - some days that's a lot harder for me than it probably seems to you all.

I know I can stimulate her to orgasm with my tongue, but I know that I've never been able to bring her to climax through intercourse. This is a very difficult fact for a husband to realize and accept, but that is the truth. I've seen her climax with men who are unbelievably huge, and even men that are just adequately endowed -  so knowing I can't possibly compete is somewhat disheartening. But she loves me, not them, we have a great family and a great life despite the sexual realities. After all, sex is just one aspect of a relationship.

Even at 54 years of age, I know Lisa is very desirable. I see it when we go out, guys look at her with lust. Her shape still invokes primal desires - she has big full breasts, a small waist and wide but proportional hips. An hourglass shape.  It's a figure that make men naturally think of sex.

A Soccer mom by day
Approached by a guy 20 minutes after I took this picture 
He fucked her later that night.

Her willingness to indulge in it, reinforces this is a very real way for me. In other words, I know she is sexy, she knows she is sexy and other men know she is sexually desirable - but she chooses to have sex with men who satisfy her, rather than me - her husband, the cuckold. That sums it all up.

Watching her with the other men allowed me to imagine what it would be like to please her the way they do. I fantasize about being them as I watched them fucking my wife, living vicariously through these men. As I watch, I remember what it felt like to be inside her. The warmth and wetness of her pussy, the thrusts of her hips as they rise to accept the thrusts as deep as possible.

Her current bull has told me that he feels her cum, when he hits 'bottom'. I had never heard this term, so I asked him what he meant and he told me 'hitting bottom' means his cock was rubbing up against her cervix. So his black cock could actually reach and press against my wife's womb.  And He knew that he had made her orgasm that way and he wanted me to know. He is 10+ inches of 30 year-old rock hard BBC - I then I knew why she wants him and not me.
Met him online

Ultimately sex is about satisfying a need or a desire. I know, that Every man that Lisa has been with, whether alone or while I watched, was satisfied by her pussy. And every man who fucked her, made her climax with their cock. Except for me.
Filled 

Witnessing other men ejaculating in my wife is something that has always caused me a great amount of anxiety and I know need to write more about soon.  I will talk more about the moment of climax in my next post.




She knows what boys want



Use this link to see all of our cuckolding videos: