Saturday, April 26, 2014

Finally an update

Haven't posted in a while due to various reasons but not all that much has changed. I left off explaining the mixed feelings I have being a cuckolded husband. None of that has or will ever change as long as she continues to see other men. Over the past few years her desires have not waivered, but she has been more selective and more interested in finding a steady partner to satisfy her needs. She has in fact found someone she sees regularly and I'll write more about that in a upcoming post.

Although by most people's standards I think Lisa would be considered a 'slut', my wife never considered herself that way - except after those occasional nights where she went out and picked up someone. There was a time she would go out and pick up a man and have sex with him and that was the end of it. Yes that is a bit slutty, but sometimes her urges overcome her and she just does what comes naturally. We both realize that this can happen at just about any time, but Lisa has made an effort to minimize these types of encounters. For her it was very exciting and ego boosting - meeting a new man, seeing and knowing how they desired her and all, but she would often feel some guilt and regret afterwards. So, it's been more selective and planned lately than spontaneous and random, and I'm very happy about that.

Lisa is just 5'1" tall, about 135 pounds and if you've seen her pictures and videos what you will notice is that she is very curvy and her hips are wide and thick. By nature, many men are attracted to this shape because it is a sign of fertility and femininity - her hips are wide to facilitate breeding and her breasts are large to nurture. This is all very subconscious of course, but I believe this is fundamentally why many men find women who are curvy sexually desirable. Lisa's desire for viral young well men with big cocks is in part, also based on these similar subconscious urges. It's a primal urge for both and it makes sense when I think about it in those terms. She is also a very beautiful woman, so of course I understand why men, young and old find her to be very sexually desirable. Since she has been doing this for many years, we are able to talk about her sexuality from time to time - although it's not a subject we discuss regularly.

While many women find men of size to be painful, my wife finds that size is what she needs to orgasm. It's the combination of length and girth, the feeling of fullness she has with a big dick inside her that somehow makes her orgasm most powerfully. I've known this for many years and I often wondered why it was so important to her, but I've learned that size matters to her because it's what she needs to climax. It seems that most women can climax either by clitoral or "G" spot stimulation, but Lisa is built differently. While she can orgasm by both clitoral and 'G' stimulation, she gets the most amazing orgasms only with deep penetration, when the man is able to stimulate her cervix with the head of his cock. I've asked her about this and She has told me that she can feel them pushing against the entrance to her womb and that feeling, for some reason, gives her massive orgasms. Mind you that this is far deeper than most men, including myself can reach. And this is why you will often see her holding and pulling her partner as deep as possible inside her. For me, knowing that I will never be capable of reaching this place and satisfying her needs is somewhat humiliating. When they are inside her, I wonder what it must feel like for them...I sit there and witness this and know that they are capable of giving her such pleasure. But knowing that she is unusual in this area, I've come to accept it and it's something I've been able to live with.

For now, Her interest remains with very well endowed unattached younger men. It sometimes puzzles both Lisa and I as to why young men have so much interest in her. We know that she likes younger men because of their energy and virility. They stay harder longer, they recover fast and they are capable of so much more, sexually speaking, than a man my age. But why are these young men interested in a woman who in many cases is old enough to be their mother. It turns out, most of them are initially attracted to her because of her curvy shape - the universal sign of female fertility. Many of them seem to also like her sexual freedom and her pure desire and pursuit of sexual gratification. She gets off on the fact that she can still attract young guys, and I suppose it's partially and ego thing, but the main thing seems to be that, unlike men my age, they excite her.

She has no preference as far as race goes, but she is attracted to black men in particular. It may be because ever since her first black male, none have ever disappointed her sexually and generally all the ones she's met have been well above average in size. I'm generalizing here but it also seems that blacks enjoy women with her shape, women who are thick, fleshy and meaty with ample ass. Lisa has all that and has used her assets to attract them when she wants to.

Over the past few years she's been with several black men and a few white. I'll start with one of the white fellows...This was about 3 years ago...

This guy was 29 and fucked her in our marital bed several times
She sucked his cock
He fucked her
She helped him get in
And then rode him
She spread her legs and Then he took her
on her back and gave her his full length

And then filling the void
The deed is done, It is finished
Videos from this night ....

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Thoughts and feelings of a cuckold

Sorry for the delay in posting but unfortunately it seems the photo/video upload feature on this blog weren't working, so it took a while to figure out what was wrong.

For the next 3 years Lisa was very active, playing whenever the opportunity and urges arose. During that time she really was looking for a regular partner but that proved difficult to find. Most times the guys we met would just disappear after they fucked her. This was strange and disappointing because they all seemed to really enjoy her. After fucking her we would wait for them to contact us on yahoo or by email or phone, and with few exceptions there was nothing. I put allot of effort into finding someone good for her and then I would have to do it all over again. We were trying to either find a steady for her or have a small stable of men who were reliable that we could call upon to meet whenever she had the urge. I was tired of asking the same questions, trying to see through the lies, fakers and picture collectors.

So over this period of time there were about 15 different men who Lisa enjoyed, mostly one nighters. One had her 4 times, the rest were one night stands really. They were mostly black because the reality is, they are bigger and size is of great importance to her. She also was turned on by the taboo aspect of having sex with black men. A middle aged wife and mother who had the freedom to have sex with anyone she wanted - this seemed to turn her on, and  to indulge in interracial sex made it all the more exciting. She particularly likes their aggressive nature and animal passion.

My feelings about this are mixed. On the one hand I am deeply wounded and somewhat humiliated by the fact that I do not satisfy my wife's sexual needs. On the other hand there is a part of me that finds her promiscuity exciting. Before each date, I am always extremely excited, nervous and uneasy, there is a queasy feeling in my stomach as she prepares for the night ahead. I've actually hurled a few times as she primped and dressed for a date. Feeling sick to my stomach before her date is part of what I expect even after all these years. It's hard to explain this feeling, but knowing that in a few hours she's going to be giving herself to another man both excites me and makes me sick.

Although the men she meets are always friendly and cordial to me, I wonder what they must think of me. They are using my wife for sex. They have no other motivation other than to fuck her, yet this is the mother of our children, the woman I married and sleep next to each night, the woman I have a life with. And she chooses to have sex with them and not with me. It's pure physical lust but they take what should be mine, and that is a thought that I cannot get out of my head.

I also think a lot about the actual act when I am watching or videoing. I am in the room and a few feet away, there is a man having sex with my wife. I sometimes thing about how he must feel inside her. Before Lisa became sexually active with others, I had fucked her many times over the earlier years of our marriage. I imagine how he must be feeling with his much bigger cock buried inside her, how close the head of his cock is to my wife cervix and how, if he so chooses, he could fill my wife with his seed.

Although most times the guy will pull out before cumming, some have not. Once, she took one of her lovers to our guest room and he fucked her alone for well over an hour there. It was her first time with him and she was hot for him. I watched from the doorway as Lisa got on all fours and presenter herself for him to fuck her from behind. He was 26 years old and I guess my wife's womanly charms overwhelmed him and before long he came inside her. Some photos of that night are to the left and below here.

The next day, as  Lisa and I sat in the kitchen, I kept thinking how millions of his sperm are still swimming inside my wife trying to fertilize her egg. Weird thought, but I think these are the things that must go through every cuckold husbands' mind when this happens. I asked her why she let him cum inside her and she just said she didn't know he was going to do it. He had just let out a moan and shouted that he came  - his dick was still  inside her and she knew he had inseminated her. Cumming inside someone Else's wife is probably the most personal and humiliating form of cuckolding. Since it is at a very fundamental level, the husband and wife's most intimate space.

I keep reminding myself that she is not a slut, she is my wife and a mom who just has needs that I'm unable to satisfy. I have come to understand this and I love her very much - despite my shortcoming as a sexual partner...

Bull filled

Below are some short videos and photos from other dates she's had over the past few years...

my wife was never the same after this night

Lisa filled by black friend March 2011


Lisa fucked again by BBC august20011 part1

My wife gets filled in the guestroom-as I watch from door

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Dating at home alone

Lisa asked me to arrange another date with her 1st partner. It had been a while since she had been with him because of distance and schedules, but he was very good with her and she wanted him again. He is about 10 years younger than her, and is very good at satisfying her needs. He was the first real planned meeting we had after she started seeing other men, their first meeting is described here .

We had planned to meet him at a local hotel on Saturday night, but that fell through when we were invited to a family party out of state the next day. Disapointed, but undaunted, Lisa suggested I attend the party with the kids and she stay home and have her date as planned. She said since we would be out all day, she could have him over the house rather than go to the hotel. I was a bit taken aback by this, but we knew him pretty well and I relented when she explained this would be a comfortable thing for them both.

The afternoon soon came, Lisa took a bath and as has become her custom, she had me shave her for her lover. She brought out a few outfits and told me to pick one. They were all short sexy dresses and I picked a blue one she had never worn before. She put it on and it looked spectacular on her, she put on a pair of fishnet stocking and boots and was very excited for her date.

It was soon time for us to leave, I had butterflies in my stomach, not knowing how this would play out. A few minutes before we left,  Lisa told me to get the video camera and meet her in the bedroom. She told me to pull down my pants, She pulled out the CB3000 chastity lock and told me she wanted me to wear it. I protested, but to no avail. She insisted, and after a few minutes, she had it on me, locked it and put the key around her wrist.

I asked her to text me so that i would know she was alright, to which she agreed. She said she would try to video the date for me, but she wasn't very good at that since I always worked the camera. A few minutes later, I was on the road, the kids in the back seat, my dick locked and my wife was anxiously waiting for another man to come and fuck her.

A few minutes after i arrived at the party, Lisa txted me a photo she had taken of herself, dressed for him just before he arrived.  Moments later another text, saying he had arrived. My dick strained in the chastity device, when I got that message. Thinking back on it I realized this is exactly as she had planned it. For the rest of the afternoon and eveneing I recieved more texts, each briefly describing where they were and what was happening, but no details.

A few hours went by with no word from her, until finally I get a series of texts 'We are going to the bedroom', 'I'm getting fucked, I have your key', all meant to tease and excite me while I was locked, and at the same time let me know that she was ok.

On the way home she called me and since the kids were in the back seat, we had to keep our conversation to a minimum. She said he was still their but they were done, she said she would call when he left to be certain it was ok for us to come in the house.

When I arrived home we got the kids off to bed quickly and she brought me to the bedroom, where the room was still lit by candles and there was a wine bucket, and empty champagne glasses on the dresser. The video camera was on a tripod near the bed, and our other still camera was on the floor.
She handed the camera to me and told me he had taken a few photos for me, "take a look...".

I scrolled through the photos, pictures of Lisa, her dress hiked up, pics of her in her bra and panties, and posing for him in a few different positions. Then, photos of her laying down, her panty pushed aside. Then, more photos, her panties pushed asside, semen clearly visible on her pussy lips. Then A photo of her actually spreading her lips, his cum had splatter her and I  thought I could see it inside her as well. She told me he took the photos after they fucked for over 2 hours. I had to ask, but dredded the likely answer...Did he come insider her?  She told she was sorry, yes, he seemed to have lost control and "he just exploded in there". The photos bear this out.

She hiked her skirt and laid on the bed and said 'now clean me up'.  Knowing his sperm was inside my wife was more than I could take. She pushed my head between her thighs, and told me to lick her. I felt somewhat repulsed by this but at the same time I wanted to get his semen out of her, I could not bear the thought of it swimming inside her as she lay beside me in the bed he had fucked her in.

Here is a short version of what happened that day, no lie...


You can see the entire video here: Lisa cages hub, then has a friend in our bed