Realizations and rationalization

After almost 25 years of living this unusual marital arrangement, I realize the affect it has had on both of us. Our marriage is very solid despite the sexual tension that I guess comes naturally within our cuckold relationship.  Sex and intimacy are important to any marriage, and so it would seem that cuckolding might hinder that. Because I'm a cuckold husband, there is little or no sex for me with my wife.  But we both understand why that is.

Lisa is a mature woman who has a strong sex drive. As she has gotten older, her desires have increased and she knows that I can't stop her from acting on them. She knows I've accepted all this -  her desires, unfulfilled needs - some days that's a lot harder for me than it probably seems to you all.

I know I can stimulate her to orgasm with my tongue, but I know that I've never been able to bring her to climax through intercourse. This is a very difficult fact for a husband to realize and accept, but that is the truth. I've seen her climax with men who are unbelievably huge, and even men that are just adequately endowed -  so knowing I can't possibly compete is somewhat disheartening. But she loves me, not them, we have a great family and a great life despite the sexual realities. After all, sex is just one aspect of a relationship.

Even at 54 years of age, I know Lisa is very desirable. I see it when we go out, guys look at her with lust. Her shape still invokes primal desires - she has big full breasts, a small waist and wide but proportional hips. An hourglass shape.  It's a figure that make men naturally think of sex.

A Soccer mom by day

Approached by a guy 20 minutes after I took this picture 

He fucked her later that night.

Her willingness to indulge in it, reinforces this is a very real way for me. In other words, I know she is sexy, she knows she is sexy and other men know she is sexually desirable - but she chooses to have sex with men who satisfy her, rather than me - her husband, the cuckold. That sums it all up.

Watching her with the other men allowed me to imagine what it would be like to please her the way they do. I fantasize about being them as I watched them fucking my wife, living vicariously through these men. As I watch, I remember what it felt like to be inside her. The warmth and wetness of her pussy, the thrusts of her hips as they rise to accept the thrusts as deep as possible.

Her current bull has told me that he feels her cum, when he hits 'bottom'. I had never heard this term, so I asked him what he meant and he told me 'hitting bottom' means his cock was rubbing up against her cervix. So his black cock could actually reach and press against my wife's womb.  And He knew that he had made her orgasm that way and he wanted me to know. He is 10+ inches of 30 year-old rock hard BBC - I then I knew why she wants him and not me.

Met him online

Ultimately sex is about satisfying a need or a desire. I know, that Every man that Lisa has been with, whether alone or while I watched, was satisfied by her pussy. And every man who fucked her, made her climax with their cock. Except for me.

Filled 

Witnessing other men ejaculating in my wife is something that has always caused me a great amount of anxiety and I know need to write more about soon.  I will talk more about the moment of climax in my next post.

She knows what boys want

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